Jessica

Jessica would be 28 years old right now had she lived. She would be tall, with long dark brown hair, big brown eyes and a smile and personality that would light up the room. She would be a singer, a great loving sister to her brothers and sister, and always an ideal daughter. And, she would probably be married with children right now. I miss her.

On Memorial Day Joshua and his family, along with Ken and I, went to Jessica's grave there in Newport Beach, California. There was a quiet reverence felt as we drove up to where she was buried. We took some beautiful pink flowers to lay across the top of her grave, and Ashleigh lovingly laid them across the top so that her name and epitaph were still visible to passers by. 


I'm glad we went this year, and that Josh and his family were with us. I don't often go to Jessica's grave because it has always made me very, very sad. And although we are extremely blessed to have the knowledge of the truth the gospel brings our lives, an eternal perspective, with knowing our family will all be together again, I still miss her every day, but especially around September 15th (her birthday), and on days we have visited her grave.  

Baby David, Jessic and Marva

Jessica had such a loving way about her. As a little 11-month old, she would run quickly around the house, always barefoot, giggling and smiling. She would come and lie her head on my knee there in my office and smile saying, 'momma." My comment to a visiting friend was, "if anything happened to her I would die." it was shortly after that that she near-drowned in our backyard pool. An accident that left her severely brain damaged, requiring full-time nursing. Her favorite nurse being Marva (pictured to the left.) 

She lived until she was four years old, then with those pleading eyes begging me to let her return home, I released her emotionally to Heavenly Father. It took me that long to let her go. The details are sort of blurred of those four years she lived and struggled physically, but I know that her presence today is still felt by all of her siblings. At her memorial our bishop said that she was a ministering angel, and I know that she watches over all of the children - Ben, Angela, Chris, Joshua and David. I have felt her presence in my life, and I love her. Thank you, David, for sharing these pictures with me. 


Wordsworth describes this life beautifully... 

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:

The Soul that rises with us, our life’s Star,

Hath had elsewhere its setting,

And cometh from afar:

Not in entire forgetfulness,

And not in utter nakedness,

But trailing clouds of glory do we come

From God, who is our home:

Heaven lies about us in our infancy! ²